Join our Commitment
Phobia Community! | Books by the Breakup Guru
| Breakup Links |
Search | Commitment-Phobia
| STOP A BREAKUP | MEND A BROKEN HEART | BECOME A MAN MAGNET | WIN HIS HEART BACK | WHY WOMEN DUMP MEN | FORUMS |
ATTRACTION IS EVERYTHING! How to win back their attraction! | Break free from their spell | Become the women men adore!
Breakup With a Narcissist: Living with, loving, and leaving a narcissist. How to survive it all! | The Bastard System - Why Women Love Bastards | Breaking Up Advice For Men | Hello, Casanova
Why Men Leave | Win An Ex Back eBooks | The Break Up Survivor
Phobia - another angle
Sometimes when a man or a woman starts to get attached to another person they start what's known as 'imaginary role playing'. This means that before their mates even are aware of the attachment the CP (commitment phobic) has already (in their mind) played out what it would be like to have a lifelong commitment with the person they are attached to. They start imagining their roles as husbands, or wives, and what these roles entail - long before their mates are even aware of it.
When any two people become engaged, or make a commitment, very rarely have they not played the imaginary role in their heads long before they made the commitment! I mean you wouldn't buy new clothes without trying them out first, would you? You wouldn't purchase a car without giving it a test drive first, would you? And you definitely wouldn't make a commitment without considering your role in the commitment first, would you?
So then what happens? The CP will start to think about this commitment and imagine all the flaws in the relationship that could possibly arise. If they are serious about their mate they may then attempt to change their partners - to ensure their role is more comfortable. All of a sudden their partners are bombarded with a bunch of "you should do this," or "you should do that".
But, no matter what their mates do to please them, the CP will not be pleased. He/She has already tried on their role and have already seen where it will fail - and they aren't going to risk that failure.
The pressures both CP men and CP women face in their role are enormous. And they soon learn to fear the fact that they may fail at such deep responsibilities. For the man the responsibilities he may feel to be most overwhelming are those of being able to provide, be supportive, and solve all the problems in the relationship. For the woman she may see that she has to remain eternally youthful, slim, perfect mother, perfect cook, and surrender her career to a lifetime of nurturing thankless children and a husband who is too busy with his job and sports to give her the time of day.
The images of trying to be the perfect mother/wife, or husband/father can be exhausting, to say the least. Fear has a hand in it, too. They fear failure. Not being able to provide 'this', or keep up with 'that'.
The man may believe that he has to have the perfect job, be the perfect father, the perfect handyman, the perfect tower of strength 24/7. And the woman believes that she has to be the perfect cook, the perfect housewife, add additional income to the family budget, be a great mother, and still remain sexy and mysterious to keep her man interested - 24/7!
Geez, what pressure! No wonder why we buckle, turn tail, and run at the slightest hint of the word 'commitment'.
The mistake many make is in thinking they have to live up to the 'married woman / married man' role they have 'imagined' in their head. These are false expectations. Marriage is not meant for just perfect people! Gawd, if we all had to be perfect to fall in love and commit to each other and to a relationship, the world would be full of a lot of very lonely people!
Just a thought...
From Commitment Phobe to "I Do"! A ten-step plan for winning your CP's heart and getting that long overdue & much deserved commitment. Get the Commitment Phobe to Make a Commitment! Join Our Awesome Community and talk with other CPs and CP Lovers!
Dream Chasers: The Commitment Phobe Addiction (Falling in Love and Dealing with a Commitmentphobic Person). You can be reading this insightful information, written especially for those who are in love with a commitment phobic person, in less than two minutes! (NOTE: This webBook is free when you join our community!)
Commitment Phobe Profiles
Our Commitment Phobia Support Community
Breakup With a Narcissist: Living with, loving, and leaving a narcissist. How to survive it all!
Recover from the pain of heartbreak. You can feel better - today!
Save your relationship and stop your breakup, separation, or divorce. Simple tricks to getting your partner back.
Have a relationship question? STOP using general
search engines and start
using the Relationship Directory to find the relationship answers you're looking for!
Please Visit Our Sponsors
AS SEEN ON SOCIETYSURF.COM - YOUR RELATIONSHIP WEBSITE COMMUNITY & DIRECTORY!
Hearts Network. All Rights Reserved - Commitment-Phobia dot com is a subsidiary
of the Lifted Hearts Network
Stop a Break Up and Get Him or Her, Girlfriend or Boyfriend, Back, Mend or Get over a Breakup and Broken Relationship, Find answers to Commitmentphobia
Questions? MsTigressLuv at aol.com
BreakupPoems.com | Breakup-Songs.com
Win Back Your Ex
Copyright Tigress Luv and The Lifted Hearts Network All Rights Reserved '); document.write('\'); document.write('\');