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Getting To Commitment

Mr. Steven Carter's great insights into relationship dynamics are presented here in an easy-to-understand language, and without overdoing the psychological perspectives. Many commitment questions are answered here in this book. A must read for anyone afflicted with commitment issues or involved with someone who is.


He's Scared, She's Scared

Available for the first time in paperback, this follow-up to the phenomenally successful Men Who Can't Love tackles the issue of commitmentphobia, that persistent obstacle to truly satisfying contemporary relationships. Authors Stephen Carter and Julia Sokol explore why modern men and women are torn between the desire for intimacy and the equally intense need for independence. Drawing on numerous interviews and real-life scenarios, and written with humor, insight, and the kind of wisdom gained by personal experience, He's Scared, She's Scared offes guidance for all of us who want genuine, sustained intimacy with our romantic partners.


Men Who Can't Love

This book saved me from going crazy and from wasting any more of my precious time with a man who is a consumate commitmentphobic. I got this book after a therapist friend of mine said that all my complaining and moaning about my commitmentphobic boyfriend sounded just like the people in this book she'd read - "Men Who Can't Love". I got on line and nabbed a copy. What a life saver! My jaw dropped as I read this book because it describes the behaviors of commitmentphobics precisely as I have been experiencing my boyfriend's behavior. It's so true that the more I pressed him for answers while trying to understand his avoidant behaviors, the more he withdrew from me. "I don't wanna talk about it" is his mantra. All his behaviors were laid out like his biography in this book. It was shocking and revealing at the same time.


I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality

This is a great book for an inside look at Borderline Personality Disorder. If you have a person with BPD in life this book is a must have. If you have BPD it will help you understand that some of your behaviors that seem unusual to other are understandable and can be explained and treated.

Relationship: Commitment Errors
By Michael Douglas

COMMITMENT: A ten letter word consisting of 3 vowels and 7 consonants; a word that symbolises union, loyalty, monogamy, togetherness, love, mutual respect and perhaps all those priceless sentiments which we hold in such high esteem. It's a word almost always associated with marriage; a word that means so much in theory. Yet in practice is so more often than not reduced to a mere string of alphabetical letters.

Marriages today are crumbling for lack of commitment. So why get married in the first place if you have no intention of being loyal? Most 'contemporary' women, it seems, have tuned into 'Desperate Housewives'. The infamous line of "It meant nothing. It was just sex' being the buzz. Yes, times are hard, there is too much temptation, we are only human, and we all make mistakes. But there are some who actually think it's OK to sleep around because it really is just sex. At the end of the day, they are going home to their to their partner; they are providing for their partner, they are 'committed' to their partner. So what's the bid deal?

The irony is it is a big deal. Because commitment is clearly no longer what it used to be, the word has developed a whole new meaning. It's rarely about being together in sickness and health, for richer or poorer etc. Today, it's about selfish needs. Marriage now rests on 'convenience'.

Confusing the C word...

Mention the 'C' word and you are bound to get varied responses. A sexy bombshell, who has been in a couple of high-profile romance says, "It means everything to me." while her equally sexy sister says, "It's just become a word". Another heartthrob candidly confesses that six months ago, he would have been working his charm on the ladies but today, he is in a serious relationship and doesn't want to break his sweetheart's trust, especially since his track record sucks!

A young hottie sincerely feels 'he can keep love and sex separate'. He believes that he can never ever love another, yet he has faltered on occasions simply for physical reasons. He calls it 'A momentary flirtation'. His lifelong "commitment" is to only one lady. What does this prove? Utter confusion and a warped sense of values!

How to Win Back Their Attraction!
ATTRACTION IS EVERYTHING! Here's what to do when you think they are no longer attracted to you

36 FREE Breakup & Relationship eBooks
Join our community and get
our ebooks for free! Learn how to stop your breakup and win your ex back for free!

Broken Heart?
Find out how to mend your brokenheart caused by a broken relationship. Advice from The Breakup Guru.
Did She Dump You?
Are you a nice guy and still got dumped for a jerk? Learn how to be the bastard women want, and never get dumped again!
Win Your Ex Back!
Find out how to win your ex back and keep them hopelessly attached to you forever more!

Totally committed...

But fear not, for there is hope yet. Nick and Christopher, a married couple, says you can never go wrong if you marry your best friend. They would never abuse each other's trust. Jonathan, who has been married for three years, explains although there is temptation, he wouldn't cheat on his partner simply because of his faith in God and respect for his partner. Jim can't bear the thought of his wife cheating on him. Is he tempted? No, because the mere thought of her leaving him along with the kids, if he ever faltered, is worse than death!

Commitment phobia...

There are others who are afraid of 'settling down'. Steve, 40, remains a bachelor because he is not ready to settle down. He is an incredible man who has the distinction of being friends with every single one of his ex-girlfriends, simply because he has never lied to them about 'commitment'. Today, the 'C' word has multiple meanings. One only hoped it wouldn't equate to multiple partners!

Expert Speak

Why people stay in a relationship or a marriage?

A relationship depends on how one views it. When married, it becomes a special investment, which also has religious connotations. Being with a person for a long period of time gives rise to emotions like affection and love. So people are compromise at the sake of their values. Also, a sense of security comes into play. But selfish motives can also allow a person to stick around for functional purposes.

Why are people scared of making a commitment?

People scared of committing usually suffer from some deep-seated emotional problems. A basic sense of insecurity could also lead to a situation wherein a partner is not willing to commit. While you can't say whether its men or women who are less likely to commit, the most obvious reason as to why people are scared to commit is the lack of mutual trust.

About the Author:

Michael Douglas is a relationship expert, marriage counseler and nationally certified family therapist who is committed to help people discover the secrets to building healthy and successful relationship. Currently, he provides an insightful commentary on various relationship issues and problems at his website Love-Lectures.com. Here you an also find free dating tips and hints to make your online dating a wonderful and memorable experience life long.

From Commitment Phobe to "I Do"! A ten-step plan for winning your CP's heart and getting that long overdue & much deserved commitment. Get the Commitment Phobe to Make a Commitment! Join Our Awesome Community and talk with other CPs and CP Lovers!

Dream Chasers: The Commitment Phobe Addiction (Falling in Love and Dealing with a Commitmentphobic Person). You can be reading this insightful information, written especially for those who are in love with a commitment phobic person, in less than two minutes! (NOTE: This webBook is free when you join our community!)

Fellow CP's and CP lovers! Let's hear your stories!

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Breakup With a Narcissist: Living with, loving, and leaving a narcissist. How to survive it all!

OUR MEMBERS' BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS

Win Boyfriend Back
How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back - By using these basic, down-to-earth strategies, anyone can get an ex-boyfriend back and turn a broken relationship back into a loving, lasting one - or make their current relationships deeper and more fulfilling.

Relationship Links

Cunnilingus Academy
Curl her toes with these tips and techniques!

THE ZODIAC MAN!
Because not all men are alike, the way to win their heart, or the plan to win them back shouldn't be the same, either! 

why women cheat
perfect love letters

The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Break-Up
The essential female companion from the first moment he walks out of your life! The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Break-Up offers step-by-step advice for getting over him.

The Hell with Love: Poems to Mend a Broken Heart
Finally a book of poetry that describes every emotion you go through when you are in love and heart broken. This book is amazing and wonderful. I recommend it to who ever loves poetry and ever had a broken heart.

He's Just Not That Into You (The Newly Expanded Edition): The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
It seems like everywhere you turn the phrase "He's just not that into you" is being thrown around. And for good reason! The ladies are finally done waiting by the phone - hey, why sit at home for the phone to ring when it's so obvious that he's just not that into you?

Women Men Love, Women Men Leave: What Makes Men Want to Commit?
In easy psychological terms, this book helps a woman understand why a man may react negatively to her even when she feels she's doing everything right for a relationship. With different female personalities portrayed, the reader will find themselves fitting one or more of the profiles.

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