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I should have seen the signs from the very beginning and I can't believe
I let him consume 5 years of my life. We fell hard for each other, there
was a lot of chemistry between us. He never pursued me, it was a mutual sharing
and caring relationship.
After 2 years of course, I wondered where this relationship was going. I felt it was time to think about marriage. I remember the first time the issue came up. He was breathing heavy, having a hard time talking about it, stressed to the max. He disclosed he had a problem about commitment but never really loved anyone until I came along and wanted to work on it. We cried together and continued our wonderful times together. That's what I thought love was, working out the problems. I thought he was my soul mate. But time would go by and again I would bring up marriage, I asked him to go to counseling, he agreed , only to back out and say baby, we can work on this together.
I never realized how deep his phobia ran, I knew he truly loved me,and still does, but time went by. Soon it was 4 years and he got a promotion out of state. There was so many excuses why I couldn't move with him. We ended it. I called 2 weeks later to say good-bye. He wanted to come over to talk. He didn't come over to break things off. I still really loved him and thought this was his way of trying to work on his problem. We agreed to have a monogamous long distance relationship seeing each other at least once a month. At first it was Ok but my insecurities of a non- committed man and the distance began to take control of my life. Our lives together became a constant roller coaster ride from looking for property out west together, then him freaking out. Saying he loved me so much , knowing we would be together one day, to him freaking out again.
Our times were great together but all we started to do is fight about a commitment. Push/Pull. After 7 months, we had one last heated debate. I was basically a mess, he felt pressured and told me to quit calling, no contact just get over it. He was sick of my insecurities of the separation. This is the man who told me only 2 weeks earlier that he wanted to promise me the world. But I have seen the light. After 5 years he is still a confused little boy. He should know what he wants by now and I can no longer continue to feel the constant grieving and pain this relationship has caused. I have begun my healing process with no contact and seeing a therapist. It is hard to let go of the one you love, especially when I feel he really loves me. But he will not face his problem and it is out of my hands. I must start thinking about healing the pain.
From Commitment Phobe to "I Do"! A ten-step plan for winning your CP's heart and getting that long overdue & much deserved commitment. Get the Commitment Phobe to Make a Commitment! Join Our Awesome Community and talk with other CPs and CP Lovers!
Dream Chasers: The Commitment Phobe Addiction (Falling in Love and Dealing with a Commitmentphobic Person). You can be reading this insightful information, written especially for those who are in love with a commitment phobic person, in less than two minutes! (NOTE: This webBook is free when you join our community!)
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