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How to Win Back Their Attraction!
ATTRACTION IS EVERYTHING! Here's what to do when you think they are no longer attracted to you
Did She Dump You?
Are you a nice guy and still got dumped for a jerk? Learn how to be the bastard women want, and never get dumped again!
Win Your Ex Back!
Find out how to win your ex back and keep them hopelessly attached to you forever more!

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Getting To Commitment

Mr. Steven Carter's great insights into relationship dynamics are presented here in an easy-to-understand language, and without overdoing the psychological perspectives. Many commitment questions are answered here in this book. A must read for anyone afflicted with commitment issues or involved with someone who is.


He's Scared, She's Scared

Available for the first time in paperback, this follow-up to the phenomenally successful Men Who Can't Love tackles the issue of commitmentphobia, that persistent obstacle to truly satisfying contemporary relationships. Authors Stephen Carter and Julia Sokol explore why modern men and women are torn between the desire for intimacy and the equally intense need for independence. Drawing on numerous interviews and real-life scenarios, and written with humor, insight, and the kind of wisdom gained by personal experience, He's Scared, She's Scared offes guidance for all of us who want genuine, sustained intimacy with our romantic partners.


Men Who Can't Love

This book saved me from going crazy and from wasting any more of my precious time with a man who is a consumate commitmentphobic. I got this book after a therapist friend of mine said that all my complaining and moaning about my commitmentphobic boyfriend sounded just like the people in this book she'd read - "Men Who Can't Love". I got on line and nabbed a copy. What a life saver! My jaw dropped as I read this book because it describes the behaviors of commitmentphobics precisely as I have been experiencing my boyfriend's behavior. It's so true that the more I pressed him for answers while trying to understand his avoidant behaviors, the more he withdrew from me. "I don't wanna talk about it" is his mantra. All his behaviors were laid out like his biography in this book. It was shocking and revealing at the same time.


I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality

This is a great book for an inside look at Borderline Personality Disorder. If you have a person with BPD in life this book is a must have. If you have BPD it will help you understand that some of your behaviors that seem unusual to other are understandable and can be explained and treated.

Johnny's Story (In love with a CP)

One and a half years ago in school I met A. We were attracted to each other right from the beginning. We were older students, both in our early thirties. She came on strong and I guess I did also. Throughout the relationship I detected a slight push/pull from her, but nothing overwhelming. After all, she had gotten divorced about six months before dating me, but had been separated for over 2 years prior. She had dated a couple guys before me, but nothing went anywhere. I looked at this as a 'good thing' in that she had done a lot of thinking about what was important and what was not.

Her ex was the 'bad boy' CP type and treated her as such by cheating on her remorselessly for two years of the marriage. She had gone through a lot and seemed really strong because of it. Sometimes she would say things like: I hope I can be good enough for you, if you only knew who I really was you would not love me and I love you so much please do not leave me. At the time I just told her she was crazy to think such thoughts, of course she was good enough for me. Looking back it was classic CP talk and she was trying to warn me of what she was capable of doing. I just did not know or want to believe. After all she said she loved me more than life itself.

On our one year anniversary we got engaged. We were both so happy, but I got my first signal when she did not want to tell everybody we had gotten engaged. It was 'too soon' she said and she had some reasons that made good sense to me at the time. Privately with me she was totally into it and really wanted to get married as bad or more than me. Always dropping hints about wanting a small wedding the 'next time,' saying how much of a good couple we were for each other, professing her undying love for me, spending all our time together, etc.

How to Win Back Their Attraction!
ATTRACTION IS EVERYTHING! Here's what to do when you think they are no longer attracted to you

36 FREE Breakup & Relationship eBooks
Join our community and get
our ebooks for free! Learn how to stop your breakup and win your ex back for free!

Broken Heart?
Find out how to mend your brokenheart caused by a broken relationship. Advice from The Breakup Guru.
Did She Dump You?
Are you a nice guy and still got dumped for a jerk? Learn how to be the bastard women want, and never get dumped again!
Win Your Ex Back!
Find out how to win your ex back and keep them hopelessly attached to you forever more!

We set a date, made all the reservations, got a photographer, everything. She was the instigator behind most of this. She wanted it to be special so I followed her lead on exactly what she wanted. I just wanted to be with her. The ceremony was not my main focus, but I think at the time it gave her some distraction from having to think about us as a couple forever. She just went through the motions hoping at some point she would feel the love for me without the panic. She never got there.

Then she had to move 1200 miles away to finish up her last eight months of school. It was unavoidable so I know she did not plan it. I was to stay put and prepare for our future together in our new home. After a few weeks she said she was really missing me a lot. I told her I could visit in two weeks and she was so happy.

When I arrived she was cold to me. She would not kiss me or anything, it was weird. After two days of weirdness I was getting some gut feelings she may be cheating on me. I had indications before, but was just not sure. Through the grapevine I got some detailed info on what she was up to and confronted her. She spilled the beans after I pushed really hard. She said she had an affair with one of my best friends, but that is was over. It only lasted two weeks. I was livid and she cried and begged for forgiveness. I gave it and stated that the wedding must be postponed till we figure this all out.

A week after my visit with her she called me and said she realized how stupid she was, she just made a horrible mistake and promised it would never happen again. We chalked it up to 'wedding jitters.' She then proposed to ME and made all these fantastic promises of how great we would be together, how we were soul mates, to please forgive her, etc. So I forgave her fully and the wedding was back on. We had issues to deal with for sure, but we both were willing to put the work into it.

Four days later she cheated on me again with the same guy. She called and told me about it is how I found out. She was riddled with guilt and did not know what to do, but felt 'chemistry' with this guy and could not help herself. (um, right) Obviously we broke off everything after that. I just did not realize the damage inside of her until that point. She confessed to having panic attacks when alone and I was not close to her. She would sit alone at home and think about the wedding and have huge amounts of anxiety.

Then we would talk and she felt we were destined to be together. Her world was flipping between two very far emotions and it was scaring her to death. All I could see was an incredible push/pull coming from her. One second she would beg me to never leave her, the next she would run to another man. I was a mess. I was angry and had no idea what the heck was going on. My self esteem was taking a bit hit as was my heart and soul.

Thinking back on it, anytime we were apart for more than a couple days she would always get emotionally distant. It was like I had to start over with her and she had forgotten I was the 'love of her life.' Then after I would leave she would cry for days because I was gone. It was as though she could only show strong emotion for me when I was not around. Even her friends would say how much she talks about me constantly and that she is so in love with me they were jealous of her relationship. Her words I think were just a cover for her true feelings of panic. She loved me and it terrified her. She was just trying to put on a good show for the public in hopes it might become real inside of her if she said it enough times and behaved the correct way.

Now were are trying to keep a somewhat anemic friendship alive with infrequent contact, mostly just to exchange personal items we have of each others. I never discuss the relationship with her or ask her for anything. I want her to get better and think, but I know she is still with the other guy and is using the new relationship with him to hide from the guilt of leaving me. Her life runs on fear of everything. Her phobia is so pervasive she may never get better and that is a hard thing to take when you love someone so much. I do miss her, but I cannot let her destroy my life anymore than she already has. I have no idea where we are headed. She will be back in the same city as me in six months. I know she may never change and that six months is not a long time to undo a lifetime of fear. For now, I am just moving on without her, if she chooses to catch up with me, then fine. If not, I have no other choice but to just let her go. It is not easy though.

Johnny

From Commitment Phobe to "I Do"! A ten-step plan for winning your CP's heart and getting that long overdue & much deserved commitment. Get the Commitment Phobe to Make a Commitment! Join Our Awesome Community and talk with other CPs and CP Lovers!

Dream Chasers: The Commitment Phobe Addiction (Falling in Love and Dealing with a Commitmentphobic Person). You can be reading this insightful information, written especially for those who are in love with a commitment phobic person, in less than two minutes! (NOTE: This webBook is free when you join our community!)

Fellow CP's and CP lovers! Let's hear your stories!

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Breakup With a Narcissist: Living with, loving, and leaving a narcissist. How to survive it all!

OUR MEMBERS' BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS

Win Boyfriend Back
How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back - By using these basic, down-to-earth strategies, anyone can get an ex-boyfriend back and turn a broken relationship back into a loving, lasting one - or make their current relationships deeper and more fulfilling.

Relationship Links

Cunnilingus Academy
Curl her toes with these tips and techniques!

THE ZODIAC MAN!
Because not all men are alike, the way to win their heart, or the plan to win them back shouldn't be the same, either! 

why women cheat
perfect love letters

The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Break-Up
The essential female companion from the first moment he walks out of your life! The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Break-Up offers step-by-step advice for getting over him.

The Hell with Love: Poems to Mend a Broken Heart
Finally a book of poetry that describes every emotion you go through when you are in love and heart broken. This book is amazing and wonderful. I recommend it to who ever loves poetry and ever had a broken heart.

He's Just Not That Into You (The Newly Expanded Edition): The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
It seems like everywhere you turn the phrase "He's just not that into you" is being thrown around. And for good reason! The ladies are finally done waiting by the phone - hey, why sit at home for the phone to ring when it's so obvious that he's just not that into you?

Women Men Love, Women Men Leave: What Makes Men Want to Commit?
In easy psychological terms, this book helps a woman understand why a man may react negatively to her even when she feels she's doing everything right for a relationship. With different female personalities portrayed, the reader will find themselves fitting one or more of the profiles.

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