Join our Commitment Phobia Community! | Books by the Breakup Guru | Breakup Links | Search | Commitment-Phobia Home Page
| STOP A BREAKUP | MEND A BROKEN HEART | BECOME A MAN MAGNET | WIN HIS HEART BACK | WHY WOMEN DUMP MEN | FORUMS |
ATTRACTION IS EVERYTHING! How to win back their attraction!   |   Break free from their spell  |   Become the women men adore!
Breakup With a Narcissist: Living with, loving, and leaving a narcissist. How to survive it all! | The Bastard System - Why Women Love Bastards | Breaking Up Advice For Men | Hello, Casanova

36 FREE Breakup & Relationship eBooks
Join our community and get
our ebooks for free! Learn how to stop your breakup for free!
How to Win Back Their Attraction!
ATTRACTION IS EVERYTHING! Here's what to do when you think they are no longer attracted to you
Did She Dump You?
Are you a nice guy and still got dumped for a jerk? Learn how to be the bastard women want, and never get dumped again!
Win Your Ex Back!
Find out how to win your ex back and keep them hopelessly attached to you forever more!

commitmentphobia community

commitment phobia banner

lifted hearts logo

commitmentphobe banner

Broken Heart Help
My Breakup Space
My Breakup Blog
My Big Breakup
Breakups Magazine
Gay/Lesbian Advice
Date a Millionaire
Get Your Boyfriend Back
Win Your Girl Back

Getting To Commitment

Mr. Steven Carter's great insights into relationship dynamics are presented here in an easy-to-understand language, and without overdoing the psychological perspectives. Many commitment questions are answered here in this book. A must read for anyone afflicted with commitment issues or involved with someone who is.


He's Scared, She's Scared

Available for the first time in paperback, this follow-up to the phenomenally successful Men Who Can't Love tackles the issue of commitmentphobia, that persistent obstacle to truly satisfying contemporary relationships. Authors Stephen Carter and Julia Sokol explore why modern men and women are torn between the desire for intimacy and the equally intense need for independence. Drawing on numerous interviews and real-life scenarios, and written with humor, insight, and the kind of wisdom gained by personal experience, He's Scared, She's Scared offes guidance for all of us who want genuine, sustained intimacy with our romantic partners.


Men Who Can't Love

This book saved me from going crazy and from wasting any more of my precious time with a man who is a consumate commitmentphobic. I got this book after a therapist friend of mine said that all my complaining and moaning about my commitmentphobic boyfriend sounded just like the people in this book she'd read - "Men Who Can't Love". I got on line and nabbed a copy. What a life saver! My jaw dropped as I read this book because it describes the behaviors of commitmentphobics precisely as I have been experiencing my boyfriend's behavior. It's so true that the more I pressed him for answers while trying to understand his avoidant behaviors, the more he withdrew from me. "I don't wanna talk about it" is his mantra. All his behaviors were laid out like his biography in this book. It was shocking and revealing at the same time.


I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality

This is a great book for an inside look at Borderline Personality Disorder. If you have a person with BPD in life this book is a must have. If you have BPD it will help you understand that some of your behaviors that seem unusual to other are understandable and can be explained and treated.

Commitment vs.Trying - Is Trying Lying?
By Frankie Picasso

Today I heard the saying “Trying is lying!”

It made me reflect back to earlier this year when I was lying in my hospital bed with two broken legs, a broken hip and a broken pelvis, injuries I had sustained in a motorcycle accident. After the surgeons had put my body back together, I was moved to a rehabilitation hospital, where I spent the next 4 ½ months learning how to walk again. This was an amazing facility designed to assist patients (many worse off than me), in adjusting to their new limitations. The goal was to assist us in finding strategies that were designed to help us continue to live a life worth living, despite these challenges.

Since I had sustained extensive orthopedic injuries, I required intensive physiotherapy.

Each morning, patients were expected to get dressed and wear their street clothes to physiotherapy, even though most of them would spend the remainder of their day in bed. It was part of the psychology to help us realize that we were not “sick:” but learning how to function again and look after ourselves.

How to Win Back Their Attraction!
ATTRACTION IS EVERYTHING! Here's what to do when you think they are no longer attracted to you

36 FREE Breakup & Relationship eBooks
Join our community and get
our ebooks for free! Learn how to stop your breakup and win your ex back for free!

Broken Heart?
Find out how to mend your brokenheart caused by a broken relationship. Advice from The Breakup Guru.
Did She Dump You?
Are you a nice guy and still got dumped for a jerk? Learn how to be the bastard women want, and never get dumped again!
Win Your Ex Back!
Find out how to win your ex back and keep them hopelessly attached to you forever more!

The first time I went to physio, my physiotherapist Derek, asked me to move my leg. Now if you know me, (or are coached by me) you will know that a common theme I espouse is that of “I can’t}”. “I can’t” and its cousin “I give up!” are two phrases that are not allowed in my vocabulary, and if I have any influence over you, it’s not allowed in yours’ either…smile!.

I looked down at my leg and counted myself lucky as I looked around the room at the other patients. They all seemed to be using a mixture of medieval looking contraptions that contorted their bodies in a way that I was sure was designed to increase pain and agony. I just had to move my leg.

I told my leg to move in the direction that Derek had just asked but it stayed put. “Wait a minute”, I said to myself and I tried again, but it just wouldn’t move. I tried concentrating harder, and even spoke the words aloud, but it still wouldn’t change position. Frustrated now, I glared at this appendage that was betraying me, and found myself alternating between cajoling and cussing- all internal conversations of course. No amount of asking was making my leg budge! Derek my physiotherapist came by and with his hands on his hips and a smirk on his face said “come on Frankie, MOVE IT!” “You can do it!” Visibly upset now with tears of anger and discouragement streaming down my face, I cried out, “I‘m trying”, CAN’T YOU SEE THAT? “Well actually no, I can’t” he said gently, “because I don’t see your leg moving.”

It was then that I had an epiphany, Trying is not good enough. Trying is actually NOT Doing! It is still “I can’t” or “I won’t”. Another realization came to me as well, and that was I had a commitment, but it wasn’t to what I thought.

I was committed to NOT moving my leg. For whatever reason, perhaps it was fear of pain, or maybe of finding out that I may never be able to move it, I just didn’t want to do it. I am sure the “why” of it matter doesn’t matter as much as asking the Powerful Question, “So what are you going to do about it?”

When I came to terms with that revelation, I knew I had a decision to make right then and there. Either I could continue to pretend to “try” and not move my leg, or I could be a Doer.

We have already established that I am not a quitter, I don’t believe in I can’t and I knew I hadn’t survived the night of my accident to fail in my recovery, so there was only one option left, and that was to DO!! But what about that commitment, what was I to do with that?

That commitment was NOT serving me. I knew that, because I WANTED to walk again and making my leg to move, was the first step to that goal. So I took a deep breath, told myself one more time “you can do it” and looked down at my leg and said “move damn it”.

Well son of a gun, didn’t it just move a couple of inches! I was ecstatic!

Now to be honest, it didn’t move far, but it did move. This was enough to prove to me it could be done.

Not only did I know that my leg was going to work again, I also knew what a powerful being lived inside me! This is not only true of me, but it is also true of you!

Each of us has the power to overcome the things we are committed to whether it be fear of flying or poor body image. No matter how long you have been living you’re your commitment, you can change the terms anytime you want.

I invite you to look inside at some of the commitments that have not been serving you, and see if you are ready to change your perspective on any of them.

Now that you understand the difference between trying and doing, literally in the blink of an eye, you will be able to recognize your commitments and know how to change them. Just imagine the freedom of being able to DO anything you want.

The next time you hear yourself say I am trying, remember, to tell yourself you are lying!

If you want to stay committed to something then commit to being the best you can be! Thomas Merton said, "The biggest human temptation is to settle for too little."

An exercise to bring this point home is to sit in a chair and drop a pencil on the floor. Now then I want you to TRY to pick the pencil up. Did you pick the pencil up? You Did? Well then put it back because you weren‘t trying. Try again. Now I want you to TRY to pick the pencil up. Did you pick it up? NO? Then you weren’t trying. You see you can either be committed to picking the pencil up and do, or be committed to leaving the pencil on the floor and not do, but you can’t TRY to pick the pencil up!

Frankie Picasso, CPC LMT , is an Executive Business and Vision Coach and a Motivational Speaker, who loves to help people find their passion, path and purpose in Life. She has worked with both public and private sector organizations in the area of organizational wellness, alternative dispute resolution, sales and marketing, customer service and quality planning.The name of her company is Conversation with My Shoes and to find out more about her coaching, her speaking engagements , and her community involvement, please visit her website at http://www.conversationwithmyshoes.com

From Commitment Phobe to "I Do"! A ten-step plan for winning your CP's heart and getting that long overdue & much deserved commitment. Get the Commitment Phobe to Make a Commitment! Join Our Awesome Community and talk with other CPs and CP Lovers!

Dream Chasers: The Commitment Phobe Addiction (Falling in Love and Dealing with a Commitmentphobic Person). You can be reading this insightful information, written especially for those who are in love with a commitment phobic person, in less than two minutes! (NOTE: This webBook is free when you join our community!)

Fellow CP's and CP lovers! Let's hear your stories!

Our Articles
Our Stories
Commitment Phobe Profiles
Our Commitment Phobia Support Community

Breakup With a Narcissist: Living with, loving, and leaving a narcissist. How to survive it all!

OUR MEMBERS' BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS

Win Boyfriend Back
How to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back - By using these basic, down-to-earth strategies, anyone can get an ex-boyfriend back and turn a broken relationship back into a loving, lasting one - or make their current relationships deeper and more fulfilling.

Relationship Links

Cunnilingus Academy
Curl her toes with these tips and techniques!

THE ZODIAC MAN!
Because not all men are alike, the way to win their heart, or the plan to win them back shouldn't be the same, either! 

why women cheat
perfect love letters

The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Break-Up
The essential female companion from the first moment he walks out of your life! The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Break-Up offers step-by-step advice for getting over him.

The Hell with Love: Poems to Mend a Broken Heart
Finally a book of poetry that describes every emotion you go through when you are in love and heart broken. This book is amazing and wonderful. I recommend it to who ever loves poetry and ever had a broken heart.

He's Just Not That Into You (The Newly Expanded Edition): The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
It seems like everywhere you turn the phrase "He's just not that into you" is being thrown around. And for good reason! The ladies are finally done waiting by the phone - hey, why sit at home for the phone to ring when it's so obvious that he's just not that into you?

Women Men Love, Women Men Leave: What Makes Men Want to Commit?
In easy psychological terms, this book helps a woman understand why a man may react negatively to her even when she feels she's doing everything right for a relationship. With different female personalities portrayed, the reader will find themselves fitting one or more of the profiles.

BreakupPoems.com  |   Breakup-Songs.com  |  AboutYourBreakup.com
Recover from the pain of heartbreak. You can feel better - today!
Save your relationship and stop your breakup, separation, or divorce. Simple tricks to getting your partner back.

Have a relationship question? STOP using general search engines and start
using the Relationship Directory to find the relationship answers you're looking for!

Please Visit Our Sponsors

The Breakup Guru
============
Borderland Blues Gay & Lesbian Advice
============

AS SEEN ON SOCIETYSURF.COM - YOUR RELATIONSHIP WEBSITE COMMUNITY & DIRECTORY!

Copyright ©  2009 Lifted Hearts Network. All Rights Reserved - Commitment-Phobia dot com is a subsidiary of the Lifted Hearts Network
Stop a Break Up and Get Him or Her, Girlfriend or Boyfriend, Back, Mend or Get over a Breakup and Broken Relationship, Find answers to Commitmentphobia
Questions? MsTigressLuv at aol.com

BreakupPoems.com   |   Breakup-Songs.com

Tigress is on FaceBook! You can become a fan of Tigress at FaceBook's TigressLuv Fan Page or you can become her friend at her FaceBook Page / Join her on Twitter

Win Back Your Ex

Copyright Tigress Luv and The Lifted Hearts Network All Rights Reserved