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Getting To Commitment Mr. Steven Carter's great insights into relationship dynamics are presented here in an easy-to-understand language, and without overdoing the psychological perspectives. Many commitment questions are answered here in this book. A must read for anyone afflicted with commitment issues or involved with someone who is.

He's Scared, She's Scared Available for the first time in paperback, this follow-up to the phenomenally successful Men Who Can't Love tackles the issue of commitmentphobia, that persistent obstacle to truly satisfying contemporary relationships. Authors Stephen Carter and Julia Sokol explore why modern men and women are torn between the desire for intimacy and the equally intense need for independence. Drawing on numerous interviews and real-life scenarios, and written with humor, insight, and the kind of wisdom gained by personal experience, He's Scared, She's Scared offes guidance for all of us who want genuine, sustained intimacy with our romantic partners.

Men Who Can't Love This book saved me from going crazy and from wasting any more of my precious time with a man who is a consumate commitmentphobic. I got this book after a therapist friend of mine said that all my complaining and moaning about my commitmentphobic boyfriend sounded just like the people in this book she'd read - "Men Who Can't Love". I got on line and nabbed a copy. What a life saver! My jaw dropped as I read this book because it describes the behaviors of commitmentphobics precisely as I have been experiencing my boyfriend's behavior. It's so true that the more I pressed him for answers while trying to understand his avoidant behaviors, the more he withdrew from me. "I don't wanna talk about it" is his mantra. All his behaviors were laid out like his biography in this book. It was shocking and revealing at the same time.

I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality This is a great book for an inside look at Borderline Personality Disorder. If you have a person with BPD in life this book is a must have. If you have BPD it will help you understand that some of your behaviors that seem unusual to other are understandable and can be explained and treated.

I met C at a dance class I had been going to for some time. I had many friends there but this was the first time I saw him as he only came on rare occasions. He was watching me as I took part in the class and I noticed this. As soon as the class ended and it was time to dance freestyle I saw him push his way through the crowd of people on the edge of the dance floor in a huge rush to be the first to ask me to dance. In all the months I had been dancing, I had never floated around the room in the way I did that night. It is usual when dancing with someone you don't really know to perhaps not maintain much eye contact but we could not keep our eyes off each other and it is a moment I will remember for the rest of my life. When the track ended, he lead me from the floor and introduced himself. But we kept being interrupted by friends asking me to dance. For the rest of the evening I danced but saw that he was talking to friends, always watching me. He asked me twice more to dance which is quite unusual as its more normal to dance once with everyone. I watched him at the end talking to the DJ. I found out later he was asking about the song that had been playing as we danced. He wanted to get a copy. All I learnt that night was his name, his age which was 33 and I am 30, that he was soon to be moving back to this town as he had lost his job elsewhere and when I asked him if he'd be back next week, he said he was supposed to be going back to his work place but that he may just stay for an extra week, insinuating that he wanted to remain to see me again.

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I floated through the week in a strange state, not sure if he'd be there the following week. He was and the same thing happened. I floated around the floor. He asked me to leave with him, go get a drink somewhere. I left with him and so followed some of the most intimate, passionate and mind blowing weeks of my life. He asked to meet my friends, my family, he travelled to see me at weekends, leaving early Monday morning to return to work, he sent me late night texts and early morning ones when he could not be with me, he came and cooked for me, complimented my looks saying he could not believe I was single at the age of 30. He hinted at marriage, children, living together. I had to go away one weekend and he forced himself away from me at the airport as he so hated me to leave. I tried to hold back as much as I could by not talking of such things myself and just smiling when he did. I was too scared this was all too good to be true.

When he moved to my town which he had been going to do even before he met me, he was jumping around with happiness. He could not keep his hands off me sexually. The passion was all consuming and so intimate. But overnight he changed. He became sulky, withdrawn, uninterested in sex, not wanting to even touch me, he started criticising my clothes and my appearance. He also stopped seeing friends, would not come dancing, sat in and worried about money and his work situation. He got ill also so I just put most of this down to the illness but once that was fine I began to suspect a big problem. He no longer talked about us doing things together, he no longer wanted to come to see my family or friends. I gave it a few weeks but started to get so emotionally sick myself, I went to see him. First he said he had lost his sex drive and did not understand why. Then he admitted it was the girlfriend thing, he was scared of commitment, of marriage , of kids and thought he may end up alone. I was very upset and confused as I had not talked about any of these things but he had. It had even been him just days before that asked me if I was now his girlfriend. When I said yes, he opened the door of his home and shouted it to the rooftops.

C said he did not know where this now left us as he was so confused. I found some strength from I know not where and said I had to leave him because I could not put myself through such pain and him pushing me away. He tried to stop me in tears that this may be the worst mistake of his life and he may yet sort it out. I told him how Id gone from being in the clouds to on the floor in just days and it was destroying me. I left him. That was 2 weeks ago and the pain since has been crazy. I've had 2 non committal and just friendly emails since with no talk about us. I have no idea where this is leading but it does not appear to be heading towards us getting back together. Even if he asked, how could I possibly trust him again?

Megan

From Commitment Phobe to "I Do"! A ten-step plan for winning your CP's heart and getting that long overdue & much deserved commitment. Get the Commitment Phobe to Make a Commitment! Join Our Awesome Community and talk with other CPs and CP Lovers!

Dream Chasers: The Commitment Phobe Addiction (Falling in Love and Dealing with a Commitmentphobic Person). You can be reading this insightful information, written especially for those who are in love with a commitment phobic person, in less than two minutes! (NOTE: This webBook is free when you join our community!)

Fellow CP's and CP lovers! Let's hear your stories!

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